Din blog for a long time yeh? haha. was juz reading my senior's blog on band.yeah,read so many sentences, realised that similar issues were discussed..but now,it's up to the new leaders to take charge of everything yeahh..so we'll keep quiet=)

Many things were left undone and incomplete, not to mention assumptions huh..these were the things we were best at..in a state of confusion now.The healer heals others..but what if one day the healer himself down? who heals him? the healer's healer? then it juz continues? seriously don't know the answer.. and it seems like it isn't going to be revealed..maybe sometimes questions r never meant to be answered.. or would we rather leave it in it's place and allow it to open it's mystery to us? I DONT KNOW.hmm...

Is it me who did not try hard enough to know u? or is it u who sealed urself in somewhere far and din allow me to go near? Time sure is playing trick on us..we seemed to be blinded by something..

After 'O's seem relaxing..yeah true.. it felt that it's been over for a v long time but when i looked back, i realised it's onli 2 to 3 weeks ago..well.. times sure flies huh..scary..finding a conclusion in the confusion..that's wad sz said..haha.. true huh.. i'm in no better position to reply him either..haizz..life's kinda messy..and it's worse when some weird organisms are appearing..haha. wun say too much..kk.. LIVE life to the FULLEST!

Well Well.. seriously din expect it to turn out like this..it started out as an itch. and now everyone have to go through the same thing. beware! n i wonder who passed it to me

blurred

Understood

I can fully understood wad it meant by see true friendship through a crisis (chinese translation). No matter what happened, when your friend is in trouble, even though you have to sacrifice to help that person..you would still do it? what happened to you? eveybody else came, but just not you.. and you know what? that's the worst part.. not getting the supports of your friends.. or jus half-heartedly.. You know what? What i hate most is people showing half-hearted concern.. if you rather not care..then just be it.. dun have to show that you care.. well.. i've just had another lesson on life.. If you really want to care for someone? show all your support and concern.. dont do it juz because other people just did it..that's lying and being selfish..

Maybe i was just blinded by something.i dont know. I've grown up a little bit more. Last but not least...DUN SHOW HALF-HEARTED CONCERN!!! take care...>.<

That's kinda long i realised

Haha..din blog for more than a month already..haha..time flies eh.. i was juzt thinking about the prelims..and now i'm here..after the prelims man...and so much had happened.

That was a stressful period though.. haha.. someone told me. I used to be very anxious about PSLE last time.. she said,'' you said you would die when PSLE comes.. but look at you now, you're alive and kicking!! So what's difficult about 'O' Level?" kinda makes lotsa sense, but actions weigh much heavier than words. Is that a kind of method of self-lying? Or is that a legal way of self-encourging..haha. I dont know, it's just a way of how people look at things..isnt it?

Being fortunate or not is only a perpective of how people look at things...however..love or hate is really 2 different thing..just like the 2 faces of a coin..you almost never have the chance of allowing the coin to rest on it's centre.. haha..oh well.. things are so different nowadays.. people are so different now..not so simple-minded and naive..that's something i'm learning..to grow up..

I wonder if things could go back the way they were.. or am i just pure dreaming? I have no idea.. Scars persists..but isnt that happening to everybody else too? Or is it just me whose in denial..hmmm...oh well...good luck for studies!! =))

It's all the...isnt it..

He woke up, scrutinizing at everything around him... as he walk down the stairs, he stared at the various photos being place on his tables and desks. Thinking inside, "time passes so fast.. it's been 5 years already". Suddenly, something at the coner of his eyes caught his attention.. a particular photo, inside the silvery frame stood 2 people. 2 very familar people.. taking a close step, he held the photo tightly in his hands.. flashes of the happy moments went through his mind.. he shut his eyes tightly, recalling who that person was.. listening to the music being played his room.. "fly away"..suddenly...he was back in reality..


Cant believe my sixth sense was that strong.. seriously.. they came ot to be true in the end.. people can realli change so fast man..maybe it's really time to move on.. i always wondered if i'm who i always thought i was.. or was i juz another mould created to be someone i asked to be? i dont know..seriously.. time seem to pass so slow today.. thus..went through alot of thinking today.. skeptic..but i really have a strong sixth sense..oh man.. it all seems so one sided.. maybe..or is the river flowing backwards again.. true enough..i saw it.. get back huh..i think letting go is the word

This really is sucky. It all became worse when the paper was given to the 4 of us. We looked intently at the paper, each wondering how nice it would be if we were on the bus with them. Looking smart, cool, gorgeous, pretty.. I cant believe i missed i out again. Sec 3 beginning, it wasnt mine again. Sec 3 end, it slipped through my fingers again. And now this. The day became even worse when people started telling me how nice they wore and stuff, I want to see, seriously. Every while I was doing the paper, i kept thinking about how almost everything slipped through my fingers. Did i not hold it properly? THIS SUCKS SUCKS.. felt damned empty, every second i spent writing.. it was dripping.. i'm always missing out the great stuff..and in the end trying to pretend that it's ok.. I AM NOT.. they must be enjoying now..having a fun time of their own, here i am.. stuck.. SUCKS..OH MAN.. bye

OH man..... i cant believe this i happening again.. those which i wanted all have been taken away from me...why cant i choose myself..no other selection of choices? why everything falls on the same day...i dun understand.. i wan to take a stand.. a stand which totally belongs to myself.. i'm gonna miss out everything.. something like this always happens once every year.. I WANT that...sucks... it's so depressing to try to get sumthing which i really wanted and always ended up with nothing..THIS SERIOUSLY SUCKS..i'm missing out hell lot of stuff...oh man..the more i think ..the mroe depress i get...sucks sucks

it's all karma..isn't it..wonder when are all things gonna stop..got a feeling tomolo's gonna be a bad day..my senses seem to be quite true...cfg

Is it my bad memory or what. I cant seem to remember when is the last time we really talked..everything seem so foggy to me now. I wished my sixth sense wasnt that sensitive..why is it that everything i expected all came true..i wished i didnt care so much..

Illusion

illusion..an image that looks as if it's real, but maybe it never existed. Something which we wished so deeply for, waiting to get them in our hands.. or they also can be the screenshots of what is about to happen next...there are many kinds of illusion..they all can mean different stuff...but one thing that is sure is that.. they show the deepest thoughts in our mind..be it good or bad..for the good of others or for the benefit of one's self..they reflect our inner self..

i also thought i could hide it at the corner of my eye..treat it as nothing had happened...or as if it never occured before..that the hole, now filled was one of your master piece on me..heard this today..since kids can be satisfied juz by a tiny weenie little sweet, which to them it seems like a delicacy..why cant we, be as distilled as them..isnt that the real joy of life? other than the materialism and fakeness tha everyone seems to mask themselves under, trying to potray the image that i am perfect..but if friends were true..wouldn't they look through your flaws.. true friends speaks the truth from the bottom of their hearts..people miht get hurt in the process..but isn't that a virtue? being truthful...

I always thought of you being someone who i could rely upon..but i shuld have guessed it..we all have our own lives..own things to manage with.. cope with..times might not be a good as the past..oh well..things change..cya..

oral..

it's finally here...well over already too...really feel sick now..i understand wad's karma already...totally...bit my tongue while eating juz now..lotsa blood...wad a shitty day...oral was quite ok...as compared to the friday one..haha..thanks..that realli helped.. now i know why i was called stupid last time...i totally understand now...nose cant stop drooling..i forgot wad's the word..like got SARS lidat.. dun realli feel like going school tomolo..it's nobody's fault...so what am i suppose to do...stare in blankness and act blur..ahh..i tired.. getting realli blunt these days..wasn't like this last time..and it kinda hurt..am i juz asking too much or wad..hmmm...i wished....

disappointed..

everything juz came back to me..i may not be the one you hoped i was..i might not have the qualities you wished i had.. i may not be the most suitable person for that..but i want you to know that i tried..i felt lost, but you din help me..things might not have turned out to be like this if there was someone else in charge of this...you ignored me.. I'm disappointed.

it's starting..

everything gonna end like how it started..everyone will be going at their own way..own path..wonder if that 1 over 4 million chance is going to be true..wonder if we would see each other again..i wonder..be strong..be strong..i used to tell myself..if i cant, at least pretend i am...7 sins...haha...wad a game><...feeling kinda lost...more of mixed feelings..i guess this is another PSLE to go..but a more mature and competitve paper.. EVERYTHING's CHANGING !!! haha...so sudden rite..i know lah..><...i juz need time to grow up and rest..

Oral...

wah..my oral skills damn..haha..literally din know what to say today..haha..oh man..O levels like this i realli die le...die at the table...haha..

i thought i was the only one...i guess nobody belongs to anybody..no any personon this earth can own another person in one way or another..we are all equal human beings living on the same piece of land called Earth, all should be treated equally..but since the born of human..we are all greedy people..we nv knew when should we stop, we often wished that the particular person could just walk to you and just give you a hug..to let you know that you are appreciated...maybe just a word will do..or even a gesture..dun understand why muz you keep me in the dark all these while...i cant do anything anyway...i'll try to be the same..just the same old me..irritating..senseless..lame me..maybe keeping things as simple as this would be fine..dont you think so?

haha...i'm literally crapping lah...another plot of mine...heh heh

now u heh heh...

haha...felt like a copycat lah...was juz browsing the blogs of others..haha..realised that many changed skin already...i also want to shed them off(skin) so changed too...nice?? mysterious rite...just like...whahaa..complete the sentence urself..

feel like a puppet...i would be there...always serving you...did you even smiled and said a thank you? you walked away..dun ever take things for granted....you might not know whether the girl walking would ever turn back anymore...A picture speaks a thousand words...doesnt my expression said enough...what more do you want me to say...u're a liar....you thought i won't know? you're wrong... I knew right form the beginning when you started it...

YOU're LiAr

ALways hoped you were there to encourage..support me...but where were you? you always lie..never kept your words..maybe i shouldn even walk forward and talk to you in the first place..we exist in different worlds... a world which is suppose to be parallel from each other..i guess sometimes it's true that we should not know everything.. hostility...the barrier was suppose to dissolve? disintergrate? why did it form again? i had so much to say..but you...you just shut me up...closed the door on me..i get what you mean...we really should go back to where we once lived, never should we cross our paths..i guess we all look like tools to you huh...if you...

haha...nice anot...plot plot...kinda bored...heh heh...

maybe u're right..

Share with u all a song first...haha...i only remeber a short part of the song...yup yup..

Nobody knows who I really am,
I never felt so empty before..
And if i ever need someone to come along,
Who'S gonna comfort me and keep me strong...

it continues lah...but in jap..nice huh...There's so many what if in this cruel harsh world we live in...what if I studied harder for my exams, would i get what I expected in the first place? What if i said this and he wouldnt like...we tend to regret most of the things after we did them... to say or not to say...maybe acting blur is really the solution to everything...in that case, we would not be getting ourselves us into unecessary problems...is being straightforward a crime? being too straight is also a fault? if that's the case...we could not even talk to each other..since almost everything seems to be attacking u.....what i got it wrong...wished i could sing...can let the emotions run...sometimes i really wished i din know anything..maybe thingswould be soooo better...if i din met u..i wouldn't think about it..

maybe caring for a person is also a crime..a crime that isnt written in the constitution...we often hope for the reply to be the same...but most of the time...it do not... it's the total opposite..lifes'stories....listening to this great song now...wished that i could share it with u...

one more thing...i reaised friendster's getting kinda pervetted...haha...go see..

it's creeping again...

juz feel like blogging...haha...yeah...no particular reason...haha...just wanna talk to you...^^ok..that's crap..haha..
been doing lots of thinking these few days...and lots of stuff kinda happened too...everything's karma...isn't it..i strongly believe that kinda stuff exist. Do want you want others to do to you. Most of the time we show or we try to show the side of us, being strong, invulnerable, independent. However, deep somewhere in us, we longed for somebody to be on this journey with us...now i sound like desperate housewife...haha..ooh man..the Maryalice...haha. We often longed for a companion..when we get desperate..anybody will do, often to just be by our sides and share our problems...

When conflicts occur, most of the time we din even realise that it did...why? cause it's a battle between the hearts of people...yy always say...simplicity is beautiful...but how do we achieve that?? We often complicate things ourself by thinking too much...but how about for people who can only think but nothing else?? I'm losing my point...no wonder i cant score in composition...haha..

When we hurt someone, we often did not realise the cut that we made on others...how aggresive and vulnerable someone can be huh...the cut would slowly deepens itself. Unknowingly, we start to think and think..making a simple draft to become a cruel reality...i lost i again...ohwell...wad i just wanna say is... we humans are weird creatures...most of the time we got what we wanted...but what happens next? we start to get panic of losing that somebody..that's whn things got a u turn...people walk in and out of our life..but who are the ones who stays?? None..what's so special is the impact that each and everyone had brought to us...

I think i need some more time to grow up...haha...give me more time...

HMMMMMmmmMmmMmmMmM.......

SHare with u all a quote...

If rAiN bInDs tHe hEaVeN & eArTh tOgEtHeR...
wIlL oUr hEaRtS bE bInD bY ThE tEaRs oF oThErS....?

EeEeEEekKKkKKKK......

Having this weird feeling that something is going on...or is it me again...haha...oh well...weird feeling...weird feeling...the wurld is weird...

COnCeRt...

OoOoOoOhHhHHH....haha...went to concert yesterday...at VCH...yeah...concert by phil and phil youth winds... yeah..played quite a number of songs...yeah...quite liked some of them...yeah...such as 'RIDE' Symphony No.3...yeah... they are really a special group of people...when u saw them walking down the streets...u woulnt think so much that they actually are members of a band...i dunno how to express but...they are juz so talented...yeah...kinda enticed by the Cor Anglias...i dunno how to spell...haha...she played it so wellll....it's really like...WOAH!!...haha...it's really v nice...

and saw the alto flute...with my own eyes...haha..sound so kua zhang....it's really cool...looks like a U turn flute...twisted one...haha...i'm not really sure exactly hoe many key it is different from flute.....it's lower..that's all i know..haha...nice...sounds sad though...haha...yeah... really like the 3rd movement....talks about the composer thinking how the world would be like if his daughter did not die...yeah...sad though...the band really played all the solos very well loh...oh man...it's so touching..yeah...of course...PHILwinds leh...haha...dun pray pray... wanna join the phil youth next time...yeah...haha...

went to swim on sat..after band...swam in the rain..haha...haha...suddely the use of blog came very clear to me...we mostly only blog sad stuff on it..haha...shall keep it to myself..haha...will be blogging less often ba..yeah...Sec 4 le somemore...wah..kk..i go and study le..haha...bye

YOOOOZZZZ....FIrsT eNtRy lehhh

hello...haha..first entry of the blog...haizz..actually was using easyjournal...but dunno why...cant work...my 3 years memories all gone..owell...haha...will try to copy them down somewhere...wow....fast...yeah..is this blog nice?? din really tell anyone yet...haha..yeah..so many homework to do..sianz sia...so many sutff going on these few days...confused...haha...hmm...anyway...yeah..welcome to my new blog~~haha...

Yo...